Hey, hey, Reader!

Over the last few weeks, we've been building a case for leaning in and launching forward in 2025.

Why?

Because there's more opportunity for women than ever before...and it's growing. Yet, we hesitate. Last week's email laid out compelling evidence for both. You can catch up here if you missed that one.

This week, we're talking about what holds you back. And more importantly, what you can do about it.

What Holds You Back

I've been working with women in one capacity or another for more than 25 years. And I've been one for even longer. 😀

When women say "no, thank you" to an opportunity that knocks or hesitate to knock on the door of an opportunity ourselves, it's always one of two things:

😰 too much of the bad stuff or

😎 too little of the good stuff.

I'll bet you're already picking up what I'm putting down.

Today, we're talking about the bad stuff—the two things that keep us quiet and playing small—and really simple, proven strategies to fix it.

Everyone Feels Some Fear

Ever heard of glossophobia?

It's the fancy term for the fear of public speaking. It's so common that this specific nervousness we feel when speaking in front of people has its own name.

So common 74% of adults say they feel it.

Our friend, Mark Twain, thinks it's even more than that. He famously said,

There are two types of speakers: those that are nervous
and those that are liars.

We all feel nervous around speaking because it's how we're wired.

Our bodies throw the breakers and sound the alarm when we do something risky. Like risking judgment, ridicule or rejection.

So what can you do?

Here are the simplest, most effective strategies to diffuse the fight-or-flight response:

⭐️ Breathe - I know it sounds too easy. But science has proven over and over that it works. Slow, even breaths have the power to reset the parasympathetic nervous system that fires up when your brain senses a threat.

And if you want to double down, exhaling twice as long as you inhale works even faster.

⭐️ Smile - You don't just smile when you feel good. You feel good when you smile. Again, science has proven that smiling releases feel-good hormones and diffuses stress hormones. It's impossible to smile a real, crinkly-eyes smile and keep feeling sad, mad or stressed.

And since we're wired to smile back when someone sends a genuine smile our way, your smile doesn't just help you feel better...it makes the rest of us feel good too.

⭐️ Decide what the extra energy means - Every human with the traditional factory wiring feels higher-than-usual energy when it's time to do something out of the ordinary. Here's the cool thing: You get to decide what the energy means.

Instead of allowing your brain to default to, I'm so nervous. Intentionally tell yourself, I'm so excited. Again and again until the message sticks.

You Gotta Mind Your Mind

If you can change how you feel by telling yourself you're excited instead of nervous, it's clear what we think impact how we feel...and how we show up.

If I had to bottom line what holds women back based on my own experience and my work with coaching clients and students, I'd say it's this:

Women tend to undervalue what you have to offer
and overestimate the risk of sharing it.

Last week, we talked about smart, accomplished women saying, "no, thank you". Because you hesitate to claim your expertise. You worry you'll mess up in some way. You're sure there's someone better.

Those are all limiting beliefs.

Have you heard of launching beliefs?

While limiting beliefs are the unhelpful, demotivating ones that hold you back, launching beliefs are the helpful, encouraging, inspiring ones that propel you forward.

Here are 3 of my favorite reframes to turn limiting beliefs into launching beliefs:

⭐️ Connection over perfection - Historically, males are rewarded for potential while females are rewarded for performance. It's part of the cultural influences that shape us. Because of that, women are often more afraid of getting it wrong than excited about the possibility of getting it right.

When you step forward to speak, remind yourself that perfection isn't the goal. Your goal is to connect with the people in front of you. Connection opens the door to influence. Perfection is a non-starter in every way.

⭐️ All public speaking is conversation - We let "public speaking" feel scary and heavy. It feels formal and super-important. What if you remind yourself that it's just conversation at scale? Whether you're talking to one person or 1000, the goal is the same...to engage, connect, inspire and serve. That's it.

⭐️ Your story is your authority - This is my favorite one. It's the antidote to imposter syndrome. You're not speaking up and claiming worldwide expertise on your topic. That's not a comfortable idea for any of us. Instead, you're sharing your own story. Essentially, this is what I experienced. This is what I learned that might help you, too. That feels better.

Whatcha think??

Can you use these physical tactics and mindset strategies to make the nervy, scaries stand down?

I know you can. If I can do it, I know you can do it.

Spend some time taking note of when your nerves speak up. How do you feel in your body? What are you thinking?

Use these strategies to diffuse what's holding you back.

Next week, we're going to talk about what moves you forward.

We all want confidence.

Here's the cool thing: Confidence isn't a feeling. It's a skill and posture you can develop, refine and even master.

Next week, I'll tell you how!

⭐️ Coming Soon ⭐️

In this email series, we're exploring why the opportunity for women leaders is greater than ever before and digging into what stands between you and the opportunity you're meant for. Then, we'll land the plane on what drives us forward. The very things that cultivate the confidence we need to step up, speak up and lead as we're born to do.

I'll open the doors for Signature Talk Workshop in just two weeks. It's my signature (yep, on purpose 😊) small group course for women who are ready to get clarity, competence and confidence around the message you need to raise your visibility, grow your business and drive greater impact and influence than ever before.

If this is the year you nail your message, hop over here to get on the waitlist. You'll get first access to the limited number of spots available and a sweet bonus or two just for the waitlist.

There's more opportunity than ever before. Let's work together to lean in and grab hold.

Because your message matters.

Always in your corner 🩷

When you're ready, here are three ways I can help:

⭐️ Looking for an engaging, energetic, impactful speaker for your event?
⭐️ Ready to empower your leaders or team to communicate with clarity and confidence?
⭐️ Not sure about your best next step to craft the message that grows your business and personal brand?

Let's taco bout it! 🌮

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